Apparently the FTC has decided that Americans are stupid and can’t do research for themselves. Accordingly, they are passing new rules regarding the disclosure of connections between bloggers and companies. In that spirit, I’d like to disclose that I have never received any sort of monetary compensation from any company whose products I have reviewed, although Bike magazine once sent me a free tee shirt. I chose to not review the shirt because it failed miserably is several key categories I consider when shirt testing. The shirt is cotton, which is a strike against almost any upper body clothing item in my opinion. I am proud to say that I don't own a single item of winter cycling gear made from cotton. Additionally I will say that if you have an item of clothing made from cotton, it is not winter cycling gear. Bike's shirt also failed miserably in stain resistance and is now home to strange marks that resulted from carrying chunks of wood into my house. While I know this, anyone else looking at me sees a shirt with weird brown streaks on it. In what I consider the most important category, “Does it make me look cool?”, it also failed. It is white, with large black letters that spell out Bike (and a couple brown streaks). Unless I am actually holding a bike, the coolness effect seems nonexistent. It should be noted, however, that only one shirt I have owned in the last three years has not failed in this category. It was a shirt which said “Bike Ninja” and was red, pretty much making it the sweetest shirt ever. Sadly it now has a hole, and so didn’t stand up in the longevity department.
This got me thinking what the perfect shirt would be. I am thinking it would be made of high quality wool. While there are plenty of great materials out there, I know wool is the best. It would also be long sleeved, since occasionally one has the need to cover their forearms. It would also have a collar, since some employers (one of mine in particular) will demand that employees present themselves in a collared shirt. Additionally it would be red, because red is the best ever. So if you have a shirt company out there and want to make me the best shirt ever, feel free. Just send me one (or several if possible), but no money, and I will immediately begin testing it for review. I am sure the review would be favorable.