Friday, December 18, 2009

On Bike Sex

After my previous post, Coffee Joe asked the astute question, "Do you get to choose the sex of your bike?". I think have to say, the answer is no. My own thinking on the matter pretty much proved to me that I am a sexist pig, but I digress. My downhill bike I consider to be masculine. It is huge, beefy and heavy. It is designed to withstand horrible abuse and rough terrain and still perform like a champ. None of these are qualities I consider feminine. My Seven on the other hand, I have always seen as feminine. It's winter form (fully rigid with SnowCats) is designed to be efficient, graceful, light, and beautiful. I would say that most bikes designed to be light and efficient would strike me as feminine, and anything designed to withstand abuse I'd qualify as masculine. I am generalizing and there are bikes that fall between the lines (five inch travel cross country trail bikes, for instance) but basically that's my feeling.

The hotly debated result of this was today that all road (racing) bikes are female. At least that's my opinion. Zombie Jeff disagreed, which of course he's entitled to do, but he's still wrong. If it weighs in under eighteen pounds and is rolling tires with a c after it and not an in., it is a girl. Sorry. Jeff of course strongly agreed with my downhill bike assessment. His own seven inch plush machine is all pink, and we both know that's because it is just a comfortable with himself kind of guy, pretty much like Jeff.

I am mostly done with my newest friend, but I still am not sure yet what it's going to be. I suppose I'll know by the time I cut the excess from the steer tube. At least I hope so. The idea of cutting without knowing is kind of scary.


Coffee Joe said...

Don't do it. Know first; then cut.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to think of bikes as animal specific rather than sex specific. Would seem to make more sense to think of the road bike as a Gazelle, and a hybrid combo as a Wildabeest. Your full on snow bikes could be anything from a Caribou to a Wolverine